These words are often uttered when someone is countering a comment with which the speaker might not agree. However, it's true, isn't it? Doesn't your reality flow from your perception? As described over the past few weeks, Vella reveals through personal stories the critical nature of developing relationships, and that always involves listening. In the interest of letting you hear Vella, I'm offering a few quotes from Learning to Listen:
- "Perhaps adult learning is always dangerous" - In this instance the reference is to the story of a fifty-year-old woman in North Carolina. She is considering a return to higher education, and described her husband's position on this move, " ...he is glad for me to go back to school, as long as I do not change" (p. 82). Cross-cultural situations are not limited to those in foreign lands, and the person in this case who was feeling unsafe was the husband. The idea of his wife expanding her intellect rocks his world. How do you think this might impact the woman's college experience? Should knowledge of this home-life issue alter the teacher's approach?
- "Listening without interrupting is a simple structure for ensuring respect" (p. 92). It may be a simple structure, but it certainly isn't easy. Most of us are more eager to share ourselves than to provide a sounding board for others. As educators, however, we know that optimal results are achieved only when we can relate to learners' experiences. What do you learn while you're talking about yourself?
- "The tigers are loose in Java!" (p. 92) - This reference is to public health nurses who were empowered by their learning through a dialogue* approach, which stresses exchange of information between teachers and learners - equity, actually. The women are now sharing their knowledge with Indonesian women and children to improve the health of the community.
- " ...no laughing, no learning" (p.106) - As I recently learned in a review of the way the brain works, memory is tied to emotion, and it doesn't have take a dramatic turn. This is very likely why story-telling is such a useful tool; it makes an emotional connection. Do you know your learners well enough to find their sweet spots, from a humor perspective?
- "Only by venturing into the unknown do we enable new ideas to take shape, and those shapes are different for each voyager" (p.158). - Back to: Each person's perception is his reality. Think about your last class, the topic, the group before you. Do you think that every person took away the same lesson? How could they, if they came with different experiences?
Some learners need you in your pumps; some will relate better to the casual you. You can't change your shoes between student interactions, but you can change your approach according to the need. Do you know your learners well enough to identify common ground, and therefore understand their disparate approaches to the learning environment? Your approach should be relative to theirs, because it is, after all, about them. Not you.